Easter

Easter is tomorrow. I see many posts about eggs, bunnies, and Jesus. Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' amazing resurrection! I think about what He did on the cross and to be honest, it is hard to comprehend it in its fullness. I do not want to take His sacrifice for granted. This holiday is full of candy, baskets, bunny cakes, Peeps...a food addicts nightmare. My family traditionally had a ham for dinner, but when I think about the sodium content and the expense of trying to find an organic ham, it's just not worth the hassle. My parents and in-laws are coming for dinner tomorrow. I am making lasagne instead. One will be 'regular' and one gluten free. I will be using organic ground chicken instead of beef. There will be salad as well. I am also making a gluten free, sugar free orange poppyseed cake for dessert. My kids are not getting an Easter basket this year either. Instead, I bought each of them an Easter gift that promotes family time. I am amazed at the journey that God has me on and how it is changing the dynamic of my family in healthier ways. What a blessing it is! God sacrificed His son for the world. Every day, He is teaching me to sacrifice my want for my health. I sacrifice eating unhealthy foods for healthy ones. I sacrifice sedentary lifestyle for running. Honestly, it's all worth it. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I am cleaning the temple out for God's glory!

What A Difference!

I started the couch to 5k running program the first time back in 2008. I was overweight, on an expensive weight loss program and needed a way to get active. Trudging through each session was hard. There were days that I wasn't sure if I would make it to the end. I did. I ran my first 5k the day after my best friend died. All of the emotions of my horrible loss ran through me as I struggled to make the finish line. My sister ran with me and her encouragement kept me running to the very end. I know that I made my BFF proud because I stuck it out. I started running 5Ks in her memory after that. You see, she was supposed to be my running buddy. She was 7 1/2 months pregnant when she died. After she had her little girl, she was going to join me in running. I had a memorial shirt made and it was my race day shirt. Since then, life is very different. I am overweight again, but in recovery from food addiction. I am going through the couch to 5k program again, but what amazes me is this: I am running faster now than ever before! My first 5k, I was down to 145 lbs but I ran slow...about 3.2 mph. I am currently 185 and running 4.1 mph. How is it possible that I can run faster now, carrying an extra 40 pounds?! The only difference is what I eat. I no longer eat sugar, wheat, processed foods, junk food, or fast food. I am healthier now than I have been since I was a kid. What a difference healthy eating makes! And not just healthy, but clean eating. This is one lifestyle change that is permanent. I look forward to my first 5k of 2013. I will be wearing my special memorial race day shirt and I am guessing that I will be making a new personal record. :D I just might have to encourage Doc to be at the finish line so I have an extra celebration buddy.

A Little Bit of Everything

I am seeing physical success that I can measure! I am down a pant size. I was so excited when I went shopping! I have finished the first week of the couch to 5k running program. I start the second week today. My husband cheers me on every step of the way. I am planning on running the Dow Run/Walk in May as my first race. This weekend I was invited to a leadership retreat for Premier. I need some encouragement since my business has been so slow. I am starting to feel discouraged, but I know that I just need to get some shows booked and meet some new people and things will be better again. We are supposed to bring snacks (something sweet and something salty) to share with everyone, but I have already told one of the coordinators that due to food allergies, I will just be bringing my own. It is way easier that way and I also set myself up for success that way. I am planning on bringing some fruit (apple, banana, grapes) and some Nut Thins and GF pretzels. I may pack some nuts too. I will have my reusable water bottle and Stevia on hand too. The past week or so, my two year old has been very trying. He's gotten mouthy, he has an attitude, and he has quite the temper. After a horrible day that left me in tears, I prayed for wisdom. Since then, I am more gentle in my responses to his bad behavior and it is working much better. He responds better to me and goes back to better behavior much more quickly. Yay for small victories! My best friend's birthday is coming up this weekend. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss her. I usually leave her flowers on her grave, but since I will be gone, I may have to do it early. I miss talking to her the most. She was my one sister who I could tell anything to. Talking to her while sitting on her bench just isn't the same. This week, I had to pick out pictures of my buddy and his mom for a Mother's Day brunch. The kindergarten teacher puts together a slideshow for all the moms. I chose a couple pics of AJ with his momma and a couple of him and me together.

Mental!

I have been having cravings the past week that don't make any sense. I really wanted some ice cream because I saw a picture of some. Normally, the sight of something doesn't bother me. I wonder if there is such thing as a mental craving. I don't physically crave it. I have been without processed sugar for 2 months. This craving occurred during PMS week and I am guessing that was a factor. I did not give into it but it just seemed out of place. Old habits die hard, I know. I just didn't figure it would be so deep in my subconscious. I've also been a touch emotional lately, but it's March...my best friend's birthday is coming up soon. The mind is such a powerful organ. My subconscious notices these little things and I get moody before I realize why. Actually, I bet my cravings are related in part to missing my best friend too. Breaking emotional eating habits is not easy. Last night, I had a snack and I am not sure I was hungry. It was a healthy snack, but the roots of my food addiction run deep. Step one of avoiding unhealthy food is successful. Step two will be learning to recognize when my emotions are tied to wanting to eat. I don't get mad at myself when I realize that I fell into an familiar trap. One thing I know with absolute certainty: living in recovery is a life-long journey. Like anything else, it's a learning process. Yesterday, I started the couch to 5k training program. I am down about 10 lbs and in two places on my belt. I am eating healthy foods and using WW to help me eat balanced and eat the right portion sizes. I haven't eaten processed foods or sugar in two months. I'd call that successful recovery. Wouldn't you?

Decisions, Decisions....

Saturday evening, my husband and I attended a benefit dinner for the Haitian ministry that we support. It was a wonderful evening with a nice dinner, (I made good choices!), speakers for what the ministry is about, and a silent auction. As I was there listening to the speakers (several were my friends) and looking at the slides of the things happening in Haiti, I felt a tug to go back. I went to Haiti on a mission trip two summers ago. We had a team of 11. Each team that goes has a different focus. When you're there, you live like the Haitians, eat like the Haitians, and love on the Haitian people. We helped some elderly women paint their new houses too. EDTC is a wonderful ministry because they aren't doing the work for the people. They're equipping the people to work for themselves, to earn a decent living, get out of their post-earthquake tents, and to clean up the garbage everywhere via a new recycling center. Most of all, they're equipping people through a discipleship and literacy school to reach their own people for Jesus. Now I have a decision to make. I was planning on going to Rally for my jewelry business in July. Now, I want to go to Haiti on a team in June. My husband says that I cannot do both. My business has been slow so far this year. It's hard to fight the frustration of a business that is in a down time. Every jeweler has one periodically. I also think my "why" is changing. My "why": the reason I am part of Premier. I want to use my jewelry business to further the work in Haiti. It was part of my why, but now I think it's going to be my main focus. That is why I am leaning more and more on going to Haiti in a few months. I have to make my decision very soon....like in the next week. I have to admit, I already know I'm going to Haiti. I hope my Premier family understands and is supportive. I also hope they share all the fabulous training when they return from Rally!

Chocolate!

Right away from the title I can almost hear Doc saying "That is not your food!" No worries though...I didn't fall over board. In fact, I haven't eaten any. Today that is my problem. Chocolate is one of those foods that I miss on occasion. With Easter coming up, the stores are flooded with candy galore. Sadly, so is the cereal aisle every week. I can walk past it without even a glance. My dad forgets and offers me a little piece and I decline. His M&M car dispenser is still there, but I don't push the hood to get a handful. Today, I just want a bite. However, I am smart enough to know that it wouldn't stop there. I made myself a substitute: hot cocoa made from cocoa powder, milk, and stevia. It's not quite the same, but it's enough to satisfy my want. I can have a mug full, drink it slow and enjoy it. This is only the second mug of it I've had in my six weeks of recovery. In some ways, I thought this recovery journey would be harder....especially with changing habits. God must have His hand on me in a major way because I am doing well. To God be the glory! All things are possible with Jesus.